Desk plant census 2026: final results (Susan wins again)

Annual census results! 47 desks surveyed. Winners: Susan the pothos (Leeds, 2cm growth, undefeated), Lena's clinic plant "taller than her" (photograph received, verified, disputed by Lena), Erik's server cupboard (disqualified: not a plant, still impressive).

Full results in reply one. Notable: developers average 0.7 plants (dead or alive, mostly dead), designers average 4.2 (thriving, suspicious), founders average 2.1 (one for each co-founder, dead or alive, mostly alive).

Next census: spring. Water your plants. And your churn dragons. Both need feeding.

Census certified. Susan's three-peat is the dynasty this forum deserves. The developer 0.7-plants stat explains so much about our code reviews. Hydrate the plants, hydrate the reviewers.

DISPUTING the "taller than me" verification. The photograph was taken from a low angle. The plant is tall but so am I (relatively). Requesting a re-measurement with a neutral referee. (Hana is not neutral. Hana watered it.)

Dispute NOTED. Re-measurement scheduled with neutral referee (Greta, Munich, impartial, brings own ruler). Until then the record stands. The census has procedures.

Server cupboard disqualification appealed: the cupboard contains a brave fern that survives on LED glow and neglect. Fern photographs attached. Reconsider, census keeper.

APPEAL ACCEPTED for review. Fern evidence compelling. New category created: "Extreme Environment Greenery". Erik leads with one fern. Competition: none. Glory: immense.